Shorties

[Filuren]

"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.

"What's the bad news?"

The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene."

"Dammit!" cries the client. "What's the good news?"

"Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."

[Filuren]

[center]One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."[/center]

[Rolig]

[butterfly]

[center]One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."[/center]

[Filuren]

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"

"No," said his mom, "Of course not."

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

[Filuren]

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment:
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

[Jandelin]

Very funny

[drew]

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment:
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

Does this work with girlfriends to? I will try later and tell you.

[Filuren]

.pöh

No, it doesn't.

[drew]

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f*cking Goofy."

[Filuren]

[drew]

A skotish man walks in to a pub an the bartender says to him:
- hey dude do you know you have a steringweel down your pants?
- yes it's driving me nuts

[drew]

A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "Pint of your best" he says to the bar man.

Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?"

"Yes" the old man replies.

"Do you want a pint?"

"No, ta. I've got one `ere."

[Filuren]

agha, aggh, urhghhahhhahhha one 'ere UGHaahha.....

[drew]

A man walks in to a bar.
- outch!

[Filuren]

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

[Filuren]

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete . . . she is now a nurse currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer.



It cause to o much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, Picabo, I.C.U.